Another self insert fic
by Sableyezer
Summary: Why the hell is this happening to me... (this fic is really silly, don't take it to seriously) reviews welcome!
1. Pain

_Owww... why does everything hurt?_

My eyes open slowly as I try to move, to little success.

"Augh", I cringe audibly as I try sitting up, only to fail and plop back down, "yeah, that's not happening..."

I turn my head to the right to see... roof panels? Oh-oh god... hesitantly, I turn the left to see just what I feared, nothing.

I swallow hard, twisting my sore body back towards the right. Luckily, where ever I was is more than large enough to accommodate my uh... 'plus size' body.

Feeling the soreness leave said body, I was able to sit up. I tried to take in my surroundings, noting that I was, in fact, on a roof. A very, **VERY** high roof. And for a while, I just sat there, motionless, paralyzed by my fear of heights then, suddenly, voices.

"...m telling you, I heard something."

"I'm sure it's nothing to be so alarmed about, Glynda."

Behind me. There were others up here. Others that could help me!

"hey-HEY", I managed to shout, "HEEEY, CAN YOU HELP ME!"

"What on Remnant", a woman named Glynda spoke, " is there a person up here-" she stopped abruptly when she saw me. And I recognized her immediately. Glynda Goodwitch, Teacher at the esteemed Beacon academy. On the planet remnant. In the fictional web series RWBY.

"... are you real?" I managed to blurt out in my shocked state. She scoffed at me.

"Wha- of course I'm real! What kind of que-"

"You should not be real..."

"...Excuse me? Why should I not be real?"

"Glynda, what are you- oh..."

Professor Ozpin came up behind Glynda, just as amazed that a person somehow managed to get on top of Beacon.

"Well... hello there," he greeted cautiously, "What uh, what are you doing up here?"

"No idea."

"Ah, I see."

 **Silence**

"...would you like to come inside."

"Yes, but I can't move."

" And why is that?"

"I am terrified of heights."

"...right. Glynda, if wouldn't mind?"

"Hmpf, fine."

With that I was lifted in the air. Stiff as a board.

"We have much to discuss young man."

"So," Ozpin spoke, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Let get this straight: not only do you not know why or how you got here, but you're also from a different universe entirely and that, in said universe, Glynda and I are both characters in a cartoon show, and that is how you know who we are."

"Yes." I nodded

"Ozpin how are willing to listen to this... this mad man!?" Glynda was, needless to say, suspicious. "It's obvious he's on some sort of narcotic or hallucinogen! I wouldn't be surprised if he were here to steal any of our valuables."

I rolled my eyes "Yes Glynda, I'm obviously some drug addict. In fact," I continued, sarcastically, "I'm so hopped up that I decided it would be a great idea to steal from the school known for training the strongest warriors possible."

"When you first saw me you asked if I was real."

I opened my mouth to retort but closed as soon as I realized, "you have a point. But still, I'm not a drug addict or a thief."

"How can we be so sure?"

"Glynda please," Ozpin interrupted, "he was paralyzed on the roof of the building until 10 minutes ago, at least benefit of the doubt."

Glynda sighed, "Fine."

"Now then," Ozpin turned his attention back to me, "Mr..."

"Lawrence: Andrew Lawrence."

"Mr. Lawrence, has this sort of thing happened to you before?"

"Not at all."

"Hmm. Well then, how much do you know about our world?" His face changed at this point. I felt like I was being interrogate for some horrible crime.

I took a deep breath. "Alot. For starters, I know about team RWBY and their exploits, along with team JNPR. I know about dust and it's many applications. About the faunus and their plight. And I know about some of your current enemies."

I could see the shock on both their faces, more so on Glynda than on Ozpin.

"Our enemies?" Ozpin asked wit a raised brow.

"Roman Tourchwick and the White Fang." Ozpin visually relaxed at my statement.

"Right. Well I see no reason to keep you here much longer. Miss Goodwitch, please call teams RWBY and JNPR up here. They're going to give our guest a tour."

... _What_


	2. The Tour

Teams RWBY and JNPR walked the halls of Beacon, clad in their school uniforms. Much to their delight/disdain/indifference, they were excused from their classes in order answer Ozpin's call.

"So," Yang began, breaking the silence, "What do ya guys think this is about?"

"Oh, maybe it's a super secret mission that Ozpin can only trust to us!" Dreamt Ruby, ever the optimist.

"It could be about the incident at that cargo bay. Ozpin never did question us about it." Blake suggested.

"But then why would he ask us to come too?" Jaune questioned.

"Maybe it has something to do with that incident." Ren pondered.

At that point, the group reached the elevator and began to pile inside.

"That still doesn't quite explain why we're needed." Jaune pointed out.

"Well look at it like this-" the elevator doors closed, cutting off Ren mid sentence.

Ozpin and I stood in his office, waiting for my apparent tour guides to enter. Glynda had left earlier to go teach her class.

"...They are taking a much longer time than anticipated."

 _Ruby probably pressed all the buttons_. "It's no big deal, I'm a patient guy."

It also gave me time to make sure I looked presentable. Don't want to look like a complete slob in front of some of my favorite characters now do I. I took the time to give myself a once over I the reflection of the large window. Rectangular, thick-rimmed, brown glasses: check, favorite blue sweatshirt: check, clean blue jeans: check, black slip-on shoes: checkaroony. I also made sure to check my pockets for my phone, wallet, charger, and notebook. All good.

I jumped a bit at the sound of the elevator reaching its destination, and turned to see my idols turned escort pile out of the elevator.

"...And that's why Ozpin would call us up here if it were about the cargo bay incident." Ren finished.

"Wow," Jaune was gaping at him.

"I know, nice theory right?"

"No, I've just, never heard you talk for that long. Like ever."

"Oh."

"Sorry were so late professor," Weiss apologized, she turned and gave Ruby a glare, "someone decided to push all the buttons on the elevator."

"Sorry." Ruby bowed.

 _Called it._

"Don't worry Miss Rose, this is not an urgent matter." He stopped, taking a sip of his coffee, "I have a request for you all.", he turned to me, "This is Andrew. He'll be a guest here at Beacon for some time and I would like for you all to give him a tour."

They all turned to look at me, giving me a once over. I waved, trying (and failing) to keep a straight face.

"What's so special about fatso here?" Yang said, voicing everyone's thoughts.

I frowned at her, "Because I-" I started before Ozpin cut me off,

"Because he is a diplomat from a far off land and wished visit Beacon."

They all gave him a sceptical look.

"Yes, I understand why you would question that, but it's the truth. Now, if you would," Ozpin motioned towards the elevator, "Please, give him a tour of the campus. Once you are finished bring him to the guest dorms." He handed me a key with a tag that read "01-26" on it.

"Ok Professor Ozpin!" Ruby confirmed, determination in her voice, "We won't let you down."

I couldn't help but smile at her. Her enthusiasm was infectious. The teams turned to leave, some exasperated others indifferent, and I went to follow before being pulled aside by Ozpin

"Now I understand that you probably don't want to keep it a secret," he began, "but try to at least find the right time and place to do it."

I gave him a slow nodded and walked off towards the elevator. I was somehow able to fine with the other eight as the doors closed.

"So who are you really?" Asked Blake unexpectedly.

I sighed, turning around in the small space I had to face the other inhabitants of the elevator. "It's a long story." I leaned over and hit all the floor buttons on the elevator. "Good thing we have time."

Ping

The elevator doors opened and I stepped out, confidently. Leaving behind the eight face of pure shock and disbelief.

As soon as they recovered, they ran up to me and began prodding me with questions. Well Ruby and Nora did anyway.

Honestly, they were too many in count and frequency for me to remember. And that's not just an excuse for me to be a lazy writer. Nope not at all.

After the two of them calmed down, and after I had promised to answer any questions they had later, I was given the full tour. From the classrooms to the dorms to the mess hall, Beacon was just as awesome as I imagined. By the time it was over classes for the day had ended and the group wanted to change into something more comfortable. I, of course, complied taking a seat on a bench outside their form building. It took all of two minutes before Ruby returned and took a seat next to me.

"Wow, guess running isn't the only thing you're fast at." _Smooth dude_.

She gave me a big grin despite my cheesy line "Nope."

"I'm guessing you got a few questions for me?"

"Yep."

"Go ahead then."

"Ok, so do you guys have cool transforming weapons and stuff in your universe or..."


	3. Tropes ahoy!

"... and there's also nuclear weapons which are, like, super powerful, but terrible at the same time."

"How come?"

"Bad for the environment."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Honestly I'm surprised my world wasn't completely taken over by mad scientist."

"Hmm."

"...Ruby? You okay? You seem to be spacing out a bit."

"Oh, yeah I'm fine! It's just..."

"... just what?"

"I've just been wondering, how did you get here?"

"I-..." _Huh... How did I get here? Last thing I remember I was- uh..._ I _was... Oh god._ _ **Oh gOD NO!**_

"...Andrew? A-are you ok? Your face is all pale and you look sweaty."

"I don't like him."

"Wha- Blake, what are you talking about? Andrew seems like a nice enough guy. Even if he's a bit heavy set."

"I just don't buy his story, Weiss. It sounds like something out of a bad Sifi novel."

Teams JNPR and RWBY (sans Ruby) walked through the dorms hallway, discussing their newest 'guest'.

"While it's true that it seems farfetched," Pyrrha input, "I doubt he could be of any real danger."

"Yeah! He's too big and squishy." Nora babbled, "like a really, REALLY, fat sloth."

"Wouldn't that just make him like, a bear?" Jaune questioned.

"No because not all bears are that slow and lazy."

"Well," Ren interjected, "the panda bear has been known to be both docile and large."

"How can you guys be so calm about this!?" Blake, surprisingly, shouted, "For all we know, he could be an undercover member of the White Fang."

...

Everyone but Blake burst out in laughter.

"B-HA! B-Blake, come on, h-have you SEEN the guy!? I doubt he's fought anyone. EVER!" Yang managed to choke out between laughs.

"I'm telling you there's something suspicious about-"

"YAAAAAAAAAANG!"

Blake was interrupted by Ruby who was running up to them at top speed.

"Ruby? What's up?"

"I-iwasaskingandrewsomequestionsabouthisworldandthekindweaponstheyhavethereandalotofthemarereallycoolbuttheniaskedhimhowheevengottoourworldand-"

"WOAH, calm down lil sis, just tell me what's wrong, slowly."

Ruby took a deep breath. "Okay, I asked Andrew how he got to our world in the first place but after I did he got all pale and then got all sweaty and now he's passed out on the bench."

"...Oh."

"Yang what do we do!?"

"Just calm down Rubes. We'll just bring him to his dorm and wait till he wakes up. Come on guys."

The group left, following Ruby in a slow jog. Not before Yang turned to Blake. L

"Still think he's a member of the White Fang?"

"Hush."

 ** _"Drew! Drew, can you hear me!?"_**

 _Wha...?_

 ** _"Drew you have to get up! Please..."_**

 _Who is that...?_

"...-drew? Guys I think he's waking up!"

"Bout time. Come sleeping beauty, up n' at em'."

 ***SLAP***

"Gah! Owww... jeez Yang, I thought you were supposed to wake sleeping beauty with a kiss."

"Pfff- yeah, in your dreams big guy."

I kept rubbing the sore spot on my cheek, hoping to ease the pain. I looked around as soon as the fog left my eyes and noticed we were... uh...

"Where are we?"

"In your dorm room." Ren answered from the kitchen. Presumably cooking something.

"I must say," Pyrrha continued. "This place is very nice."

She was absolutely right. This place was, indeed nice. The entrance was on the far right wall, situated next to the walkway to the small kitchen which appeared to be stock with all the essentials: fridge, stove, cupboards, sink. Even a microwave and dishwasher. The kitchen was separated from the rest of the dorm by a sort sort of bar counter. It had three stools on the outer side, currently occupied by Jaune, Pyrrha, and Nora, awaiting whatever dish Ren was cooking up. Next to the stools was a small, Brown, circular table with four matching chairs. Yang had one turned toward the bed and was currently slumped in it. Between that and the bed was a small night stand with a plain white lamp and a... I'm gonna guess charger stand, sitting on top of it. The bed I currently sat on was queen sized. It had plain white sheets, two pillows, and a red comforter. Basically like any other students bed but bigger. Ruby stood to the left of me, a worried expression on her face. Behind her was a door walk that took up the entire left wall. Good thing it had curtains. I could Blake and Weiss sitting on lawn chairs out on the balcony. Across from me, I could see a drawer, it had another weird white... thing on it. I'll figure out what it does later. And finally, to the left of that was another door. I presumed it to be the bathroom.

"Wow." I finally spoke after I finished taking in the room.

"Andrew, are you okay?" Ruby asked, her worry still painfully present.

"Course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" I said as I laid back.

"Dude, you've been out for like an hour and a half." Yang said as she stood up, "Plus the way you passed out wasn't exactly normal."

"Oh. Right. That."

"Andrew..."

"It's fine Ruby, it's nothing you did, it's just-" I sat up again with a sigh and a hand through my hair, "There are a few things that I can't remember that I really should."

"Like what?"

"My family," I could feel everyone's eyes on me, "I know I had a family, I know I had a brother, a sister, a mom and dad, aunts and uncles and grandparents. But I just can't remember them. Does that make sense?"

Ruby and Yang slowly shook their heads.

"Ugh, okay it's like, when you're thinking of something that you like but you can't remember the name of it and it's just on tip of your tongue but you just can't think of it. You know like that but 10 times worse."

There was a resounding 'ohhhh' from the entire room.

"But," Ruby asked "why can't you remember them and still remember all those facts about your world and stuff?"

"I dunno."

 _Bad writing_

...

"Sooooo," I said, breaking the silence, "I'm guessing Blake doesn't like or trust me?"

"How did you know that!?" Yang all but shouted.

"Well for starters, she was the first to ask about me, and considering her background I can understand why. She was also giving me weird looks all throughout the tour, and, she is trying to avoid me by sitting out on the balcony."

"But," Jaune interjected, "Weiss is out there too. Is she trying to avoid you?"

"No, my best guess would be that she's trying to convince her to come inside."

Just as I said that, the two stood up and walked in through the door wall.

Everyone stared at them as they entered, much to Weiss' discomfort.

"..."

"...What?"

"Wow, you're pretty good there big blue." Yang complimented as she playfully punched my shoulder.

"Thanks. And could you be a bit easier on the hits? I bruise like a ripe peach."

Yang snorted "Don't be such a wimp, your aura 'll heal that up in no time."

 _...huh?_

"Uh, Yang I don't have aura."

Everyone looked at me like I just spoke some sort of gibberish.

"...What?"

"Yes you do." Said Ruby

"Do what?"

"Have aura."

"No I don't. From a different universe, remember?"

"But," Pyrrha began, "We can feel it on you."

"...really?"

"Yes." Weiss this time, "How can you not know you have aura?"

"I don't know! My world just thought it was a concept! Metaphysical! Not real!"

"Well it's pretty obvious you have it." Ren said, coming out of the kitchen, setting a plate of pancakes down on the table. "Since you know now, maybe you'd like to have it unlocked?"

"I mean, I guess I should. If I'm going to be living here for a while."

"Ooh-ooh-ooh! Can I do it!?" Ruby asked excitedly. Her eyes brightened by her enthusiasm.

Now how can I say no to that.

"Alright, Ruby, sure."

"Yay!"

"You remember the words, right Rubes?" Yang asked worrily.

"Yeah yeah, of course I do." Ruby hopped on to the bed and scooted up towards me, sitting on her knees.

"Okay, close your eyes."

"Alright."

"Now, concentrate on my aura."

"Uh, How do I-...Oh." I stop when her hand touched my cheek. It felt... warm. Not just her skin but her aura. I could feel It slowly spread throughout my body, making me feel so much comfort I could help but lean in to her palm.

"You ready?"

I nodded.

"Okay here it goes, ahem."

And it happened. I felt her aura, in an instant, all move to the core of my body. For the first time, I could feel my soul. And it was incredible.

"For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee."

As she spoke I could feel my soul stretch and twist, slowly growing larger and larger until she finished. As she let go I opened my eyes to see a faint, dark-blue glow around my body. And I couldn't be more excited. I w probably had the biggest, most idiotic grin on my face but I didn't care. This felt amazing.

"So, big blue, How ya feel?"

"Wow..." I near whispered

"Yeah. Anyway, We should all probably get going." Blake interrupted, "It's getting pretty late."

"Blake has a point." Pyrrha agreed pushing her clean plate aside. "Jaune and I still have some training to do." With that, she stood up and dragged Jaune out the door.

"We should go to, come on Nora."

"Cmfing fren" Nora had several pancakes stuck in her mouth.

Blake followed behind Nora soon after. Then Weiss, then Yang. But before Ruby could go I stopped her.

"Hey Ruby?"

"What's up Andrew?"

"I just wanted to say thanks for, well, today. You made me feel really welcome here and, It just means a lot."

"Of course!"

She gave me a big grin.

"Uh, one more thing."

"Hmm?"

"Instead of calling me Andrew all the time, can ya call me Drew instead? It's what people used to call me back home."

Another big smile "Sure thing Drew! I'll see ya tomorrow ok?"

"Yeah," I nodded "ok."

After that she left. I closed and locked the door behind her, walked back over to my bed, and plopped down on it.

Then I just started crying. I don't really remember why I started or what it was about, I just knew I needed to cry.

"Well, this is unexpected." Ozpin sat alone in his tower, watching over the surveillance footage of Drew having his aura unlocked. He took a sip of his coffee, grabbed his scroll and sent out a message to Qrow.

 ** _'We just gained a new piece.'_**


	4. The Dream Job

White

All I could see was white.

No trees, no grass, just white.

For a while, I wonder around, wondering if I would find anything at all in this emptiness. Then I heard something. Crying. It was faint but there. I ran towards it, and kept running for what felt like hours, the sobbing never increasing in volume, But not stopping either. Eventually, I just stopped, listening to it. It felt so familiar, and yet so painful it made my chest burn. I stood there, hand clutching my chest and head held low, listening...

Until

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

I was pulled to the waking world by a Knock at the door.

I was eventually able to pry my crusty eyes open and look around the room.

 _Welp_ , I thought, _I definitely wasn't dreaming yesterday_.

I took my glasses off the nightstand and replaced them on my face. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stretched and yawned, several bones popping in the process.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

 _Impatient little-_ "I'm coming, I'm coming!" I shouted as I want to open the door. I didn't bother to check my appearance. Stuff like that never really bothered me. I unlocked the doors bolt.

 _This better be damn important_ , I complained to myself, _waking me up so early in the mor_ -

"... Professor Ozpin?"

"Good morning Mr. Lawrence." He greeted, "May I come in?"

"Uh, yeah sure." I stepped away from the door and he strode past. As he did I noticed he was carrying a... gift bag?

"House warming present." He motioned with the bag, Almost like he had read my mind. He placed it on the kitchen counter.

"Do you mind if I make some coffee?"

"Uh-no. No, go ahead."

"Thank you."

As he took out what he needed, I couldn't help but stare at him. Even with all that I know about this world, Ozpin has always been an enigma. To observe him doing something so... menial was jarring to say the least.

"Well?"

"Huh?"

"Aren't you going to open your gift?" Ozpin pointed to the bag, plastic spoon in hand.

"Oh! Right." I grabbed my present and made way over to my bed. Plopping down, I looked inside and to my surprise...

"A Scroll?"

"Yes." Ozpin said over his shoulder, "if you're going to be staying here, you might as well have one."

"Uh, thanks but, I already have a phone."

He gave an inquisitive look over his back.

"It's kinda like a scroll only not as advanced."

"Oh I see. Does it still work here?"

I pulled my phone out of my right pocket and pressed the button on the side to turn it on, but got nothing. I then held the button down, still nothing.

"It might be out of battery..." I said as I reached into my left sweatshirt pocket and pulled out my charger. I plugged it into my phone then went to plug it into the wall, except...

"Where's the wall outlet?"

"Hmm?"

"The wall outlet." I repeated "where is it?"

"Wall outlet... I haven't seen one of those in a long time."

"...What."

"Well you see..."

And then Ozpin went into a lengthy explanation about how electricity works on Remnant and Drew responded with how it's basically like a Tesla coil and this is not just the writer being lazy again.

"AAAAAAAGH!" I shouted in frustration. I was laying back on my bed, hand clutching my face in exasperation as Ozpin sat across from me, a content smile on his face as he sipped his coffee.

"I cannot believe this." I let my hands fall to my sides.

"Yes well, these things happen." He paused to take another sip, "Now, to my second order of business, I have a proposition for you."

I looked up at him, not moving from my position on the bed.

"How would you like to be a student here?"

...

"Pfff- hahaha! Hehahahahahaha!"

"... I... don't understand what's so funny."

"Nothing, nothing. It's just- hahahaha- I never actually expected you to ask me that."

"So is that a yes?"

I was wiping the tears from my eyes, trying to calm down. "Sorry professor, but I'm going to have to decline."

"Oh... might I ask why?"

"I'm too old." I said plainly, "I'm 20, professor Ozpin, I already went through high school in my world. I don't really want to go through it again."

"I understand. Perhaps I should make you a different offer then."

My curiosity peeked.

"How would you like a job here at Beacon?"

"A job?"

"Is that another no?"

"No! I mean yes! I mean- I would love a job here!"

"Perfect. You'll start today."

"Great! Uh... What will I be doing?"

Ozpin gave me a smirk.

"Welcome to the janitorial team, newbie!"

 ** _...Ozpin yOU SON OF A-_**


	5. Meet Lex

**Before we get started on this** **chapter** , **a quick note.**

 **Lines like this - indicate a change in scene. Lines like this ======= indicate a change in perspective.**

 **With that out of the way, here's the next chapter!**

I could not believe this.

Of ALL the jobs I could have gotten, never in my life, on my world or otherwise, would I have thought I'd end up as a janitor in a high school- er, college. What ever this place is supposed to be!

I was currently standing in what looked like a really large janitors closet. The left wall had at least three rows of mops, brooms, dustpan, and brushes all hung up on hooks, with mop buckets lined up underneath. The right had about a dozen shelves full of all kinds of cleaners and soaps. The were organized by color which was convenient. On the back wall hung tons of tools: gardening, building, destroying, you name it, it was there. In the center sat a small round table with four chairs. Looked pretty similar to the one in my dorm.

"Well, newbie, you gonna say anything?"

And then there was the people occupying the room.

There was of course, me, but instead of wearing my usual sweatshirt and jeans, I was clad In a navy blue jumper with a tag 'proudly' displaying my name pinned to my left breast pocket.

I shook my head no at the woman currently standing before me. She brought a hand up to scratch her head with a huff. She had silver blonde hair tied in a French braid that went past her shoulders and dark chocolate skin. Her jumper was a dark gray and by her name tag, I could see that her name was Alexis.

"Well," she interrupted my train of thought, "i guess I'll just introduce myself then." She pointed her thumb at her chest, "The names Alexis Lang, but you can just call me Lex."

"Heh, what's your middle name, Luther?"

"Uh, no it's Alison."

"Oh."

...

"I'm sorry. That was a terrible joke."

"Yeah it was."

"Wow, harsh."

"Eh, I tell it the way it is, newbie."

* _ **BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**_ *

Lex pulled her Scroll out of her pocket.

"You get a message?"

She held her finger up at my, telling me to wait while she read. Then she smirked, "looks like it's your lucky day. That was Goodwitch saying we got a war zone to clean."

"War zone?"

"You'll see when we get there."

 _Wow... She wasn't kidding._

We stood in the cafeteria, which was, for lack of a better term, a fricking mess. Tables were flipped, dishes were broken, and there food splattered EVERYWHERE.

"HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!?" I yelled.

My answer came I the form of a tapping sound from my right. I looked over to see Ruby kneeling on the floor, bits and pieces of food clinging to her hair and uniform. Behind her was what appeared to be a mural of all sorts of culinary delights plastered to the wall. The whole scene looked... oddly familiar.

"I love these guys."

I recognized that voice! I looked to my left to see Sun standing with another boy who was covered in purple... stuff. I recognized him too, but I just couldn't place the name...

My walk down my broken memory lane was interrupted by Glynda, who burst in behind us, a scowl covering her features. A plate of food headed her way but was stopped by her semblance, which, she then began to use on the rest of the messy mess hall: replacing tables, fixing dishes, not cleaning up the food though. Shame.

As she put the last table back in place, she turned towards the culprits, most of team RWBY and team JNPR.

"Children, please," she pushed up her glasses, "don't play with your food."

A belch from Nora and a destructive re-entrance from Yang later, both teams started laughing. Laughing with out a care in the world. And I couldn't help but smile. They are still just kids after all.

"Nice, isn't it?" Lex asked, bumping me with her elbow, "Just kids bein kids."

"Yeah." I nodded, my smile never fading. "They're gonna help us clean all this, right?"

"Oh absolutely."

"I still can't believe you passed up a chance to be a student here," Ruby said as she mopped the floor below me. I was currently on a ladder, scrubbing the food mural off the wall, "that's like, every hunter and huntresses dream!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not a hunter. Just a normal guy from another world."

"Speaking of which, does your boss know about that yet?"

"You mean Lex? I haven't told her so I doubt it."

"Oh Yeah, I know all about that." Lex answered the black haired girl currently scrubbing at some dried, splattered, fruit.

"Wait, really? Did he tell you?"

"Nah, Ozpin did," she began before dunking the head of her scrub brush into a bucket of warm, soapy, water.

"And you believed him?"

"Guy hasn't steered me wrong yet, Why shouldn't I believe him?"

"It's just- it seems so farfetched, doesn't it?"

Lex shrugged, "I've heard of weirder things."

Blake sighed to herself, _yet another person this stranger seemed to win over_ , she thought, _how can I make them see that there's clearly something wrong here? Hmmm..._

And then Blake got an idea. On awful idea. Blake got a nasty, awful idea...

"... Uh, kid?... Why're ya makin that face?"


	6. The Catnapping

_God are my legs tired. I mean I've done physical labor jobs my entire working life, but this! Walking across campus just cause some poor kid got sick and couldn't make it to a trashcan?! Can't we get, like, golf carts or something?_

I sighed, continuing my inner monologue as I made my way back to my room, _I guess it was inevitable. This is Beacon after all, the best I could hope for was probably just a little puke. Especially after what happened in the cafeteria._

I smiled slightly at that thought. Seeing both teams RWBY and JNPR smiling and laughing like idiots just warmed my soul. And I both did and didn't know why. Did because these kids were just fun to be around, and I wanted to be their friend before I knew they were real. Didn't because, well, just looking at them, I couldn't help but feel this overwhelming sense of dread.

 _I guess that's just something else I'll have to figure out_ , I thought as I went to go unlock my door. The bolt clicked and I swung the door open, taking a deep breath to relax myself. Closed the door, locked it, and turned on the lights, but as I turned around something was hurled at my face.

 _ **WHAT'S GOING ON!? WHERE DID THIS RAG COME FROM!? AND WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE CHLOROFORM!?**_ _... Oh._

*THUD*

"Uuugh..."

"...ake up."

"Huh?"

"I said," *Smack* "wake up!"

"GAAH-FRIKIN-JEEZ! What is with you people and the smack-..."

"..."

"Blake?"

She frowned at me. I looked around the room. It was dimly lit but I could tell it was my room. And that I was tied down to one of the chairs.

"Kidnapping me in my own dorm. I mean I knew you didn't trust me but-"

"Shut it." She silenced me, a menace to her tone. "You will only speak when spoken to, understood."

...I kept quiet.

"I said," she put Gambol Shroud's blade up to my throat, "understood."

I swallowed hard, "Y-yes."

"Good." She pulled the blade away, "Tell me who sent you."

"...What?"

"Tell. Me. Who. Sent. You."

"Blake, l-look-"

" **TELL ME**!" Blake shouted as she brought her weapon up again. I remained silent. She pressed the blade against my neck. I flinched but said nothing. She pressed harder, and I wasn't sure if it was blood or sweat rolling down my neck.

"...I-i know you won't kill me Blake." I tried to sound calm but my voice betrayed me.

She glared.

"I-I-If you were to kill me, it would destroy a-a-all the friendships you've made here."

Her expression changed then. The faunus girl began to avoid my eyes, hopefully thinking things through.

"...But I can still hurt you."

 _God dammit..._

She slid her blade ever so slightly across my skin, and if there wasn't a cut before, there sure as hell was now. I stayed quiet still, my breath upping in pace and my skin tingling in fear. I had nothing to say, how could I? _I_ didn't even know who sent me, if anyone for that matter. My mind was racing for an answer. _Any answer_. As my eyes darted around the room, I realised something. In my favorite sweatshirt, hanging off the bathroom door, was something I kept all my thoughts and secrets in.

"Blake!" I blurted out, grabbing my kidnapper's attention. "I-In my sweatshirt, th-there's a-a little brown book. I-If you really want to know how I got here, i-it's probably in there."

She stared me down, looking for any signs of dishonesty or trickery, before sheathing her blade and standing from her seat (and giving me time to catch my breath). Blake found the book easily, bringing the small, leather-bound book back to her seat and opening to the first page… She then crinkled her nose in disgust.

"W-what? What is it?"

"You have. _Horrible_ hand-writing."

 _If my hand weren't tied down, i'd facepalm._

The young faunus returned to reading, flipping through page after page easily.

"... so you're a writer?"

I looked at her in surprise, not expecting such a… normal question, considering the circumstances. Then I sighed, realizing what she was talking about. "If you want to call endlessly jotting down ideas writing."

She looked at me inquisitively.

"...If I'm remembering right, i could never really get any of the ideas in there onto paper."

"What do you mean by 'if you're remembering right'? How could you forget what you wrote in here?"

"Gee, i dunno, Blake. Maybe the same way ! forgot my goddamn parents!?"

*Shhhhhhiiing*

"...sorry."

She sheathed her weapon again, return to my notebook. There was a good minute of silence before Blake piped up again.

"Why don't you just read what's in here?"

…

"... I already tried."

"…"

"Last night, after you all left. It had fallen out of my pocket and was just sitting on the floor, and when i picked it up my head just started to ache. I sat with it on my bed for a while, staring. Just thinking about opening it made my whole body hurt. Then, when i finally decided to open it, every nerve in my body screamed at me to do otherwise. So i listened. I took off my hoodie, hung it on the bathroom door, and stuck the book in it pocket."

At this point, Blake was looking down, Her hair casting a shadow over her eyes. From what i could see she looked… guilty.

"...I understand why you're doing this, Blake." She looked up at me, " You're scared and you honestly should be. I mean, some guy who knows far too much about you and your friends shows up one day saying he's from another universe? Probably should raise a few flags."

She chuckled. Thank god.

"So, if you would please untie me, I'll tell you everything I can, alright."

Blake hesitated for a moment, obviously thinking it through, before setting the book down, standing from her seat, and making her way to the back of mine. I felt my blood rush back into my hands as she loosened the knot. I brought them up to my face as my faunus kidnaper made her way to untie my legs. There were easily seen marks, even in the dim lighting, around my wrists and they were honestly painful. Speaking of which, I checked my neck where Blake had cut me. And it stung terribly. _Well this is great, how the hell am i supposed to explain this to every- oh right, Aura_. I shut my eyes and focused on the new found energy that flowed throughout my body, feeling a warm soothing sensation as my wounds were healed.

"Ahem."

I opened my eyes to blake standing in front of me, looking away from me with her shoulders slumped and bow drooped.

"I'm sorry… for, well, kidnapping you…"

I cracked a smile, "It's alright." I tried to comfort her. "Why don't I make us some tea and we can get started?"

She nodded in agreement. I moved towards the kitchen to make the drink.

"And to answer your first question," I said as pulled out a kettle, "I'm pretty sure I sent myself."

Blake and I spent hours talking. I told her about the history of my universe, the hardships it faced, and the many triumphs we had. We were halfway through World War II (or, at least, what i could remember of it.) when her Scroll began to ring. She answered with a polite 'Hello' before an icy cold shout graced her ears.

"BLAKE BELLADONNA, WHAT ON REMNANT ARE YOU DOING!?" The young faunus grimaced as Weiss began to scream her ears off. I chuckled in amusement. Weiss being team mom was something I had always guessed at before I got here, this little scene just proved my point.

"Weiss, p-please just calm down," She pleaded, "I'll head back right away." After a haughty response from her icy teammate, Blake hung up the Scroll and stood up. "I suppose i should leave."

"Want me to walk ya home?" I half joked.

Blake chuckled, making her way toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." She grabbed her weapon and replaced it on her back.

"Have a good night."

"...Thank you."

"Heh. My pleasure."

*Click*


	7. Free Advice!

Ahhh, the library. Such peaceful and serene place, perfect for enjoying a well deserved break. My second day on the job, I had been assigned the task of dusting down the library. And, while the place was understandably huge, I had the entirety of my work day scheduled for it so I could take my time.

As previously stated, I was currently on break. Sitting at one of the desks, my cleaning supplies on the floor next to me, and my nose buried in a book all I could think was… _How the hell does blake read this stuff!?_

The piece of literature I had oh so unwisely chosen to read was the first issue of Ninjas of Love. Blake had come to my dorm early in the morning asking if she could read my journal more. When I hesitated, she immediately offered the book in exchange. It being one of her favorites, I couldn't honestly decline the offer. I was pretty curious as to what was actually in those pages. Needless to say, I was appalled at what I found.

I barely got through the first chapter before promptly closing the book and placing it with my supplies. Sitting in my silence, I began inwardly critiquing the book.

 _Good god, was that terrible. The dialogue felt so forced i could puke, there was little to no descriptive text- Hell, three-fourths of it was just smut. And reeeeeally poorly written smut at that. I mean, who even does something like that with their- hey is that Weiss?_

My thought train derailed at the site of the heiress stepping hurriedly between the shelves of books. Her expression was one of irritation. Something had honestly ruined her mood for the day.

"H-hey, Weiss!"

 _Speak of the devil…_

Jaune was running up behind her and I saw her seeth in what I assumed was rage. I better do something before Jaune gets hurt.

"What do you want, Jaune." The heiress said through gritted teeth.

The poor knight gulped, "I-I just wanted to see if, maybe this weekend you wanted to-"

"Hey, Weiss! Just the girl I was looking for," I interrupted, stepping between the two, "Listen, I've been doing some reading up on dust, you know, trying to understand the mechanics of it and all that, but I'm having a bit of trouble. Think you could help me out?"

"Uhh…"

"Great! Follow me!" I grabbed her wrist and began pulling her as far away from Jaune as possible, all while ignoring her many protest. Once I was sure we were far enough away, I let go of her.

"Ok, I think that's far en-" *SMACK* " **BAH-SSONOFAMONKEY!** Again with the slapping!"

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing!?" The heiress shouted at me, deciding against proper language.

"Saving Jaune from an icy fate," I said, rubbing my cheek, "What's got you so on edge today, Snow White?"

"Why do you-... What did you call me?"

 _Uh oh_. "Crap, I forgot you don't like nicknames. Sorry." I braced myself.

"No. No it's not that," _Phew,_ "It's just, no one's called me that since…" she trailed off.

"… siiince what?"

"Hm? Oh, nevermind. Why do you care about why I'm upset?" the heiress asked in a much calmer tone.

"Because I'm a decent human being," I stated proudly, "And I consider us friends."

She raised an eyebrow at me.

"... acquaintances?"

…

"... I care about the well-being of others, alright!?"

"Whatever you say…"

I groaned, "Would you please just let me help you?"

"I doubt there's much you could do." The heiress sat down at a nearby desk.

"It's not healthy to bottle up emotions, Weiss," I sat down next to her, "Something my mom taught me."

"I thought you couldn't remember your parents."

"Not entirely true. I can't remember their faces, names, and other certain details, but sometimes, I remember their voice."

"...Are you crazy?"

"I'm not really sure…"

We sat there in silence for a bit, trying to think of what to say. In the end, Weiss spoke first.

"Were your parents happy?"

"Hm?"

"You know, happy, with each other?"

…"I don't think so." I paused for a moment, trying to remember. "... there was a lot of arguing. I don't know what about but I know, for sure, it scared me. It scared the hell outta me."

…

"Today is the anniversary of my parents divorce."

I was taken aback by Weiss' sudden reveal. I stared at her for a moment, seeing the tears threatening to escape from her eyes and the white-knuckle clenching of her hands. I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, grabbing the heiress' attention. When she looked up at me, I gave her a soft, understanding smile.

She brought a sleeve up to wipe her eyes. "Can we change the subject?" she asked shakily.

"Sure, Snow White."

"Where could those two have gone?..." Jaune wondered aloud. He had been wondering the library for the better part of 20 minutes, searching for Weiss and Andrew.

"...and you're sure that will work?"

That was Weiss! The knight headed toward the voice, hoping to find 'his Snowangle' at the source.

"Honestly, it's your best bet at this point."

Jaune slowed to a halt at the sound of Andrew's' voice. stepping behind a bookcase and removing a couple pieces of literature, he made a little peep hole for himself, find the backs of the two he's been looking for.

"What if it doesn't work?" the heiress asked

"Well, you could always go with plan B."

"I doubt shoving his face into Pyrrha's chest would do much of anything."

"You'd be surprised."

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

The sound of a Scroll alarm going off caused Jaune to jump back a bit.

"Looks like my break's over. Let me know how it goes, OK Snow White?"

 _Snow White?_ The knight thought.

"Absolutely. And Drew?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"... Anytime."

With that, Jaune heard both stand from their chairs and walk off. Andr- er, Drew headed back the way he came and Weiss going the opposite way.

The knight decided to follow Weiss, of course, hoping to finally ask her out.

"Hey Snowangle!" He called out to her.

Weiss froze at the sound of one of her many nicknames. "Jaune, we need to talk."


	8. An update from the author

**Hey everyone!**

 **First off, i'd like to apologize. I've had a bit of writer's block recently which is why i haven't had a chapter up in a while. That being said, I've thought of something to maybe help me get out of my writers block!**

 **I'm going to retcon this story.**

 **See, when i first started this, it was going to be a dumb parody of self insert stories. But i soon got bored of that and tried to steer it into something else entirely. Which wasn't exactly my best idea, being as, at the time, I was writing on an app on my phone. Plus, I've been INCREDIBLY inaccurate when it comes the canon of the show.**

 **So, for those of you who will hopefully still be following this story, I ask for your patience. I'm going to try and get this done as soon as I possibly can and continue with the story from where i left off.**

 **Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll continue to read and review.**

 **Sable.**


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